Working Backwards

Dear Fernando,

We don’t write letters anymore.

We (you & I) never did.

That we

is a tinder baby 

who has graduated 

to 

whatsapp 

facebook 

facetime

and 

instagram.

But what I mean by “we” 

(don’t write letters anymore) 

is the “we” who are the molecules 

that make up a society. 

This “we” 

doesn’t handwrite letters anymore 

or rarely if at all. 

We text or email 

and we get shit done. 

Short snippets of meaning 

and numbers 

and keys tapping

 into the oblivion 

of a news feed.

...

 But there is something 

intrinsically romantic 

about a handwritten letter 

as the volumes 

of love letters 

from famous pasts 

stacked high in dusty libraries 

will attest.

And so I write.

To you

This letter

But

This is not 

a love letter.

It couldn’t possibly be.

For I am not suffering.

I certainly don’t have cholera.

Or Ebola.

Or Zika.

Which is good.

Both of which, however, have similar symptoms to love. 

Nausea

being the most prominent 

shortness of breath another 

increased heart rate, 

loss of appetite, 

loss of fluids 

and 

rapid 

weight 

loss 

another, 

and 

a fever 

which causes 

hallucinations 

of the most whimsical and unrealistic in nature.

And so this? 

We? 

You and me? 

This can’t be love.

It is possible 

however 

that I am on drugs  

as I am presenting 

very clear signs 

of this disease: 

clarity of thoughts 

awakened vision, 

an overblown sense of strength and empowerment, 

sustained energy 

and 

an interest 

and 

a craving 

for continued use 

So I think it is obvious

I must be addicted to cocaine 

despite years of not having used the drug.

It’s the only obvious answer.

Because I have been in love before

  

so 

I know 

it feels 

a little more 

like 

dying.

And this does not.

If. 

Let’s say 

as a hypothetical scenario

 IF 

I was to be so bold 

as to pretend 

for a moment 

that perhaps 

I could maybe 

be 

in 

love 

language

would collapse in on itself 

and 

I would be left 

with the ash 

of words 

upon my hands.

This can’t be love 

because 

compromise 

sacrifice 

and 

tolerance 

no longer guard the path

that leads to  

"relationship". 

Desire 

joy 

and 

wholeness 

instead light the way.

THEY’RE NOT EVEN FUCKING ANTONYMS FOR THE FORMER SET OF WORDS!!!

It’s not even a tension of opposites.

It’s a whole new ball game 

and

I know 

nothing 

of baseball.

This can’t be love

 because 

that would

BLOW MY TINY BRAIN APART

It would turn my world upside down. 

And this foray into cliché should feel terrifying!

But instead it feels like I want to put my PJs on and read a book beside you.

Because being with you 

feels like a sigh of relief 

and 

I have never fit 

so comfortably 

in someone’s arms 

that I fall asleep 

easily 

and 

do not wake 

till morning. 

And I have never 

felt 

so open 

and 

willing 

to being whacked 

on the head 

with 

care 

and 

affection.

And I have never not fantasised about a future 

because 

the present 

feels 

rather 

fitting and fine.

(We = you & me)

Love, 

Sarah

#fuerzamexico

Literally translated from Spanish, fuerza means strength. In the context of the events that occurred after the earthquake, other possible definitions might be:

Power to the people.

Keep going.

We’re with you.

Or this:

If I wish for someone to have the energy to overcome hardships, that's the word I'd think of.

#fuerzamexico

Far Flung Places

On Tuesday, 19^th of September, 2017 at about 1:20 p.m. we stopped believing that walls would protect us.

Shortly after the "all good?" text messages were sent and the phones beeped back "Yep you?", we examined the debris like we weren't real. We stared at the stones that rested, crumpled on the sidewalks and wandered around as a post-apocalyptic haze etched itself into the city's skin.

"All good" was replaced with, "Fuck, did you see...?," and YouTube videos of flapping doors and rising dust blazed across our screens as the addresses of fallen buildings flew at us from the rising storm of news reports.

Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees

Alvaro Obregon #286, 7:45 a.m., Tuesday, 19^th of September, 2017

I arrived.

I was late.

Not 'Mexican' late, just normal late.

Teaching English is boring.

Well.

It's not.


Well.

It can be.


It can be at 7:30 in the morning.

Meh late. It's early. Whatever. Let me finish my coffee in peace.

“Hi Jorge! Sorry! I’m running 5 mins late! But I’ll see you soon!”

It’s never 5 minutes. 

It’s always more.

I knew it would be more.

My phone chimed in.

“No problem”

No punctuation. No emoji. 

I didn't know him well enough to know if it was actually no problem, or impatience.

Whatever. I'll arrive and I’ll teach well.

I teach well.

And I taught well.

Idioms

Below is a list of common English idioms that are often used in business situations. In the right hand column, there are the definitions of the idioms. Match the idiom with their correct definitions. 

Far flung places                                                    it’s best to do to something

Money doesn’t grow on trees                               to become successful or popular quickly

Eat someone alive                                                to not know what is popular now


No reason not to                                                   you have to work hard to make money

Take off                                                                 many, often exotic places around the world

Out of touch                                                          to be powerful against your opponent

My exercise didn’t look like this.

‘Cause I’m so freakin’ “creative”. I wrote mine on small cards.

One idiom per card and another set for the definitions.

I’m good like that.

I take language out of the book and off the page and place it into people’s hands with tangible objects they can hold. Whether you’re 3 or 33, (and he was 33), language learning is not an exercise of grammar rehearsals or eyes in books. We need to hold our words and feel their texture and investigate their shape. What colours do they make? What tastes do they leave on the tongue? Language resides in the body, not only the mind. In fact, if you get the mind too involved, you’re fucked.  

They were yellow cards. I’d handwritten them quickly before I left.

I was late because I was handwriting on the yellow cards.

Take off — to become successful or popular quickly

Example: Jorge’s career had taken off very well.

He was successful and cared about money.

So we didn’t have much in common.

He was intense and fidgety.

And I could be too, but had spent most of my life trying to avoid being like that.

He, on the other hand, seemed to embrace it.

He sometimes acted like I didn’t have anything interesting to say and his phone or emails were more important than the class.

Oh how wrong he could be. I was freaking fascinating.

Well.

He was probably right.

The emails and phone messages were probably more interesting than the class.

Error:                         Sorry I didn’t listen you.

Correction:   I didn’t hear you. OR I didn’t listen to you.

Then he’d ask me to repeat the question and his stories would begin.

Error:             The unique reason for working, when I was younger, was money.

Correction:   The main reason for working, when I was younger, was money.

Present         Past                Past Participle

Teach             taught            taught

Error:             I proved Mexico, before my girlfriend arrived.

Correction:   I tried Mexico, before my girlfriend arrived.  

Error:             I am a lot competitive.

Error:             I am a lot of competitive.

Correction:   I am very competitive. I am really competitive.

What is the difference between:

a)                               I learned a lot about him

And

b)                               I learned a lot from him

The dog is big.

The dress is beauty.

The plan was developed.

He was born in Spain.

He spoke definitively.

But also with an understanding of the complexity of this world.

He was sharp, funny, sarcastic. He swore.

He swore!

It was such a relief.

He swore in English and it felt like home.

He talked a lot.

So do I.

He wanted to build an airport.

I like travelling.

He liked that I used the whiteboard.

I really like writing on whiteboards. It’s a perk of being a teacher.

“You are the second person to use that whiteboard,” he said. “The first was me.”

It somehow felt like a privileged position.

He loved being inside of airports and the feeling of going places, of travel and movement and seeing new things.

He used to travel a lot for work and would try to squeeze in a bit of sight-seeing and experience when he could.

He would return to Malaga when he was old and ready to retire. To slow down now, was not an option.

Mexicans weren’t ambitious, Spanish people were. And I thought of all the Spanish stereotypes that my Mexican friends had reiterated that were being lived out right in front of me.

Idiom:            He smashed the exercise.

Definition:     He answered everything correctly.

He liked it and thought it was useful.

That was something. That was good.

Out of touch

[10:05, 6/9/2017] Sarah Kay: How did it go with Jorge?                       

[10:07, 6/9/2017] Me: Great, I think! With every new class/student

I usually do a conversation class to see

where they're at, get to know them and

understand why they want to learn English.                       

____________________________________________________________________________

[7:31, 12/9/2017] Me: Hi Jorge, I'm outside the Valora door.                       

[7:32, 12/9/2017] Me: I believe it's locked.

____________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday, 19^th of September, 2017

[7:28, 19/9/2017] Me Hi Jorge! Sarah here. I believe

I'm running 10 mins late - but I am on my way!    

                  

[7:28, 19/9/2017] Jorge Gomez Sale: Ok, no problem

____________________________________________________________________________

[13:32, 19/9/2017] Me: All good sunshine?

                       

[13:36, 19/9/2017] Nicole: Yes! On the 4th floor, we felt it bad.

A lot of stuff cracked on the floor                       

[13:36, 19/9/2017] Nicole: We are all outside now                       

[13:36, 19/9/2017] Nicole: You???

____________________________________________________________________________

 [13:32, 19/9/2017] Me: All Good?                       

[13:44, 19/9/2017] Sara: Yes. Luckily we were outside. No warning. You ok?

____________________________________________________________________________

 [13:33, 19/9/2017] Me All Good??                        

[13:41, 19/9/2017] Lorenza: Yes. You?

____________________________________________________________________________

                       

[13:33, 19/9/2017] Me: All good??                       

[13:33, 19/9/2017] Laura: All good. I was on the metrobus.

Felt more like a metroboat...                       

[13:33, 19/9/2017] Laura: You?

____________________________________________________________________________

[14:51, 19/9/2017] Me: All Good?                       

[15:29, 19/9/2017] Gerardo: Only lots of material damages. All that's important is ok.

____________________________________________________________________________

[16:07, 19/9/2017] Me: All Good?                       

[16:10, 19/9/2017] Enrique: All good                       

[16:10, 19/9/2017] Enrique: Yourself?

____________________________________________________________________________

[13:58, 19/9/2017] Me: Everyone ok?                       

[13:58, 19/9/2017] Blanca: everything ok w/me and my family                       

[13:59, 19/9/2017] Blanca: Thanks Sarah. I hope everyone is ok.         

             

[14:07, 19/9/2017] Sophie: In Coyoacan and okay here.. sending love to everyone   

                   

[14:10, 19/9/2017] Gaby Dau: Me and muy family ok thanks for asking, 

                     

[14:23, 19/9/2017] Galia: Im ok but scared                       

[14:25, 19/9/2017] Me: Me too galia! 🌺          

            

[14:27, 19/9/2017] Gabs: Me and my family also ok, sending my love to all!   

                   

[14:27, 19/9/2017] Aranza: Let's put together our thoughts for all

those trapped in buildings                        

[14:27, 19/9/2017] Aranza: La roma was really a disaster zone 

____________________________________________________________________________                     

No Reason Not To…

____________________________________________________________________________

[12:51, 20/9/2017] Me: Hola Jorge - I am sure

you are receiving plenty of messages about the earthquake.

A friend of mine sent this through and I thought of you.

I hope all is well with you and your building  

[12:51, 20/9/2017] Me: Hola! Necesito de su apoyo y red.

Están organizando a ingenieros civiles

y arquitectos que vayan a revisar edificios

porque protección civil no se da abasto.

Necesitan voluntarios! Mi amigo forma parte

de quien está organizando todo esto,

que se pongan en contacto con el.

Alfonso Rivero: +52 1 55 ******

Hi! I need your help and network.

They are organizing civil engineers and

architects to assess buildings.

They need volunteers! My friend is part of the

organization of this group, get in touch with him:

 Alfonso Rivero: +52 1 55 ******

No response.

____________________________________________________________________________

To Eat Someone Alive

Thursday 21 September

Sarah, My name’s Damian, I am a colleague of Jorge’s. He is still trapped in the building. I am responding to his emails. We’ll wait until next week.

Regards,

[9:21, 21/9/2017] Sarah Kay: Fucking. Hell.                       

[9:45, 21/9/2017] Me: Fuck

Call to the emergency services:

«Hola. Me llamo Lizeth Cruz y estoy con Jorge Gómez. Estamos vivos en

Álvaro Obregón 286»

“Hi. My name is Lizeth Cruz and I am with Jorge Gomez. We are alive in

Álvaro Obregón 286”

[20:16, 21/9/2017] Sarah Kay: A glimmer of hope                   

[9:51, 22/9/2017] Sarah Kay: I went to the building this morning.

                       

[10:00, 22/9/2017] Me: How is It?                       

[10:03, 22/9/2017] Tamsin: Are you able to help? What are they asking for?

[18:04, 22/9/2017] Sarah Kay: They really need dog boots.

[16:27, 23/9/2017]

My Sister:

Has he been found?

                                                Me:

No news yet but I will keep

you posted xxx

[14:28, 24/9/2017]

[09:13, 25/9/2017]

[12:49, 26/9/2017]

[7:08, 27/9/2017]

[13:35, 28/9/2017]

[17:55, 29/9/2017]

Time of writing.

In memory of all those who lost their lives,

their loved ones, their homes or places of work on

 Tuesday 19^th of September, 2017.

#fuerzamexico

Post Script:

Jorge’s body was eventually found at Alvaro Obregon 286 and was returned to his family in Spain.